I am only going to say this once. This weekend is gonna be a shit show with Tuesday being the 4th of July. Some of you may think this is an invitation to act like a bunch of rabid dogs let loose in a firework factory. IT IS NOT! First and foremost, let me make this perfectly clear: For the retarded among us, Alcohol and explosives mix about as well as oil and water. If you plan on knocking back a few cold ones, you leave the fireworks to the professionals. And remember, a DUI isn't just an invitation to get jelly put in your ass by Bubba in the cell, it's an invitation to the morgue. Don't drink and drive. If you think you're too tough or too smart to get caught, you're wrong. Dead wrong. As for swimming, the only thing you should be diving into is a pile of hot dogs and hamburgers. If you're too drunk to walk, you're too drunk to swim. You are not the next micheal fucking Phillips! Lastly, remember who and what you represent. You are part of the most underrated, community of misfits on this planet. Don't disgrace the yourself by acting like a hooligan and recording the fuckery with your phone like a selfie. Show respect fucking respect and turn your phone sidewise and record you being a dumbass. Then post I here in Smoke & Bacon. Let's have a safe 4th of July, people. You're dismissed!